Psychologist's Suggestion
by Cat-Fluff
Summary: Oneshot. Under a psychologist's suggestion, Hyuga Neji writes down why fate hates him on a piece of paper


Disclaimer: Yes. How I wish.

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...why did I ever agree to go to the psychologist?

I mean, not only was telling a complete stranger how much destiny hated me strange, the stupid psychologist actually dared suggest filling out a sheet for studies!

Like a freaking guinea pig.

Hm…

-

**Why do you feel that ****(Insert whatever is putting you down here) ****hates you?**

Isn't that a little easy?

For heaven's sake. I'm a clan's prodigy!

I should be in some recliner while gorgeous girls massaged my feet!

Not slaving away training 24/7 while sweating so un-prettily.

Not only that, my father gets unanimously voted into dying for the clan while I'm four.

Not only that, my little cousin that dotes on Uzumaki (the stupid ramen addict) is the clan's heiress.

Come on! Look at me! Handsome, clever, skilled, handsome, and did I mention handsome?

_I_ should be the clan's heir instead of my wimpy cousin!

And Uzumaki Naruto! He's not even smart for heaven's sake.

Even if I live to heaven-knows-how-long I will never understand how the whole thing got named 'Naruto' or 'Naruto Shippuden'.

'Neji Shippuden' sounds pretty good too…

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**So what exactly is (Insert whatever is putting you down here)?**

Fate is… uh.

…

Fate is a stupid thing where things have already been pre-planned before birth and that you can't change it no matter what.

Even if you wear a green unitard and never pluck your eyebrows.

Even if you wear blue and orange and eat ramen!

Ok, so maybe I don't know what fate is exactly, but you should know more or less.

After all. Psychologists have dictionaries. Right?

Moving on.

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**How has ****(Insert whatever is putting you down here) ****affected you?**

Oh. How has it affected me?

You really want to know?

Let's start from the beginning.

When I was born, I was born into the side branch of the supposedly greatest clan around.

Then, at the age of four, I had an ugly green tattoo tattooed to my forehead that does not wash off.

And green is _so_ not my colour.

Then, I lose my father whom I love dearly and look up to because he taught me about the hated destiny.

Then, after I became a genin, I get put into a team of weaklings.

Anyone who wears a green unitard is weak.

Weak I say, weak!

Then, during the chunin exams, I get beaten up by a ramen addict and don't become a chunin even when I taught him about how destiny works.

I could have been at least been paid, but _nooooooo_.

And then after all that, I get sent after some egoistic avenger and nearly die because my byakugan has a blind spot.

Then, after all this misfortune had happened to me, I get sent to some psychologist because I was supposedly raving on about how fate hated me.

And then I had to write about destiny.

And about all the things it had done to me.

How can you say that fate does not hate me?

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**Extra notes you would like to add:**

Fate hates me.

And going to a psychologist does not help.

Writing about my feelings has not stopped fate from hating me.

I mean, look!

The stupid lead of my pencil just broke!

All writing down my feelings did was make me waste an hour of my life and break a pencil lead.

Right now I could be training and thinking about how fate hates me, but instead, I'm stuck here writing about it.

Oh fate, why do you hate me so?

I've always been a friendly, easy-going and charming young man; always helping the grannies across the road, I have never poisoned my hated relatives, and yet you continue to throw misfortunes at me.

I want to have a donut, and then I find out that _someone_ has taken the last one.

I need the bathroom, and someone _has_ to be in it!

And on school photo days, someone _has_ to have put new bright red towels in the same washer as my clothes so that I _have_ to be wearing the forbidden _pink_ in the school photo!

I didn't even kill the person that dyed my clothes; just beat them up a bit.

I've always been so kind to my relatives and friends; always been so open to criticism; why must you hate me so, fate?

Oh Lord.

I'm starting to sound like Hanabi when she failed her ballet exam.

At least fate hates her too.

Or at least.

It will.

I think.

…

Writing down my feelings is rather addictive.

Maybe I should consider buying a diary.

No wait. That's stupid.

Especially if that Demon Child (Hanabi) found it…

Lord.

I don't want to even think about it.

And besides, me, Hyuga Neji, having a diary? People would die laughing if they found out.

Wait. Why am I even writing this down on a piece of paper where some stranger will read it?

Gah! I knew it! Fate is out to get me.

…

I know it's watching. It's always watching.

There's no doubt about it.

Why would I have been sent to some psychologist?

Why would I have actually bothered to write down about my life?

Why else would I have even thought about getting a stupid diary anyway?

It's a known fact.

Fate hates me.

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_Review pretty please? _


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